Leah's Story
by tim.preston
Summary: Leah's has it pretty bad. Jacob, the only person she feels she could've connected with, has imprinted. Now she is all alone with her grief again and desperate to find her own soul mate. During her search, she finds much more than she's bargend for.
1. Chapter 1

Leah's story

CHAPTER ONE

So here I was again, mindlessly ready to sacrifice life and limb to protect one family of leaches from an invading force of blood suckers hell bent on destroying the "good vampires." As if there were such a thing. It made me sick to my stomach that I had no choice but to help these vermin, better off letting them kill each other until there was a manageable amount of parasites leftover for us to mop up in the aftermath.

An involuntary growl ripped from my throat at the thought of tearing off Bella Swan's face. It was all her fault in the first place. For years and years the treaty stood intact and our blood unchanged with the Cullen's right next door. For years and years our myths and legends about wear wolves and cold ones were proving to be just that, myths and legends. For years and years we were happy to pass the stories off as the rambling daydreams of our ancestors…until _she _moved here.

_She_ is the reason for everything that went wrong in my life. If it wasn't for _her_ coming here and attracting all kinds of new vermin to the area. If the bloodsucker Edward had never fallen in love with _her_ and just let her be killed by the original three trespassing leaches two years ago, then maybe they would have just moved on and never came back, then _maybe _everything would be different now. And just _maybe_ I would still be happy in Sam's arms. But no! Everything had to go all "cause and effect" in the world. Edward protected Bella and killed one of those _ticks_ mate, she in turn started a grudge match in the middle of our territory which, if you follow the trail, was the direct reason for Sam's change in the first place. For years we stay human and happy, then _she _shows up and the next thing you know, there's a feral vampire problem in Forks and LaPush has a sudden wolf complex. _SHE _IS THE REASON THAT SAM…

"KEEP YOUR MIND ON THE TASK!" Sam's voice cut through me with all the force of an alpha male and I could feel my whole body shake with the compulsion. It was bad enough that I had to rejoin his stupid pack for this un-avoidable and entirely un-_wanted_ fight, but did he have to use that voice on me _every_ time he issued a command?

Once the shaking stopped and I could think straight again, I began to realize that the alpha command in Sam's blood seemed somehow weaker in comparisons to Jacobs. It was like, since I had defected to Jacobs pack, Sam's weaker blood only had a minimal hold on my free will. As if Sam were a step father trying to issue commands over a true blood father's….it just felt weak. I _know_ that Jacob had never used his "big boy voice" on either me or my brother Seth, but I had no doubt that if he had…I would have no strength to resist what he commanded.

It was scary to me that while we ran together, Jacobs every _suggestion_ seemed nearly as powerful as Sam's command. It took every ounce of my will power to deny him the slightest things, such as when he suggest that I go home for a shower during the weeks of running around the Cullen's, or when I'd dumped out the food that he had offered me by the river or like any number of other times I had denied him anything just for the sake of proving I could. It was never easy, but I feet that I had sufficiently made him work for everything he asked me to do. It was a little petty, but it kept me sane in a crazy world.

As always, as is the case now, thinking about Jacob automatically made me recall the day we had the first decent and civil conversation we had ever had since my first transformation. And, as always, it immediately brought the jealousy, rage and pain to pulse through my veins like liquid fire. We had bonded, in that one moment, through our pain and knowledge that we loved people who would NEVER LOVE US BACK. I could feel him look at things from my perspective for the first time and I felt, through our pack mind, his road stretching into an eternity of loneliness like mine. The embarrassment of rejection and the possibility of being a "genetic dead end," slammed into his gut just as hard as it did to me every time I had to look in Sam's stupid face. At that moment, I thought we made a connection. But, then I felt Jacob's rejection of the awful truth and an intense burning hatred for me right before he made a silent vow of imprinting just before he phased back to human form and out of our link.

I followed Jacob back to the leech's place and watched him go inside from the wood line. It wasn't long before I saw him peel out of the garage in an obscenely expensive car. The noise woke my brother Seth and he immediately phased to see what was going on. It only took him a second to register the entire episode I had with Jacob.

"Nice going sis! You always push people too far, you know that?! Were under enough stress as it is without you pushing your loneliness on other people!" He said it with an almost caring tone, only mildly trying to hurt me. I forgave him instantly like I always do. "Where do you think he's heading?"

"I don't know!" I replied with a little more force than I usually used on my little brother, "but follow him for a ways and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. I'll run the entire circuit around the leech's…" A disapproving growl rumbled in Seth's chest. He was just as offended by the term "leech" or "bloodsucker" as the vermin were. "Sorry." I amended quickly "Vampire's house, just make sure you don't lose him!"

With all the gusto of youth, he took off after the car and, in the manner of all younger brothers who felt an unneeded responsibility to protect there _older_ sisters, left me with some advice that I already knew about staying safe and warning the Cullen's about any danger… blah blah blah.

I had only had a chance to run two and a half complete circuits when Seth returned. I had already known through the link that Jacob was on his way to Seattle, so he didn't bother to report it a second time as he took his half of the roaming guard. We ran in silence for a couple of hours and it was quite a while before the guilt of driving Jacob away, no matter how briefly, after our near bonding moment began to sink into my stomach. Was it true? Was I such a retch, that I had to spread my misery on others just to feel close to them?

I was trying to work up an official apology for Jacob when I made a pass a little too close to the house. The screaming that was coming from inside sounded worse than any horror movie I had ever seen. It was as if somebody were tearing Bella in half. An odd sense of satisfaction wormed it's way into my belly at the horrible sound. At last Bella was experiencing the pain that she deserved. At last she was paying a little for what she had done to hurt Jacob and the rest of my family. Seth's concern for the vermin lover was instant and I could feel his need to come and investigate the scene. His concern and lapse in discipline reminded me to get back to work and I ordered him to do the same.

I was only just getting back to my route when we heard the car pull up and I could feel Seth's relief that Jacob had come back. Apprehension stirred in my belly at the coming apology that I would have to give him. Not because I really felt too bad about what I said, after all, the man should hear the truth without the sugarcoating if he's ever going to get over her. I only _had_ to apologize because I had a feeling that he would order me back to Sam if I didn't, not just tell me to go, he would_ order_ it. I wasn't ready to go back and not without my brother anyways, so apologize I would.

I told Seth to take the circuit so I could phase back to human mode and apologize without him having to hear the mushy stuff. He quickly agreed and I was just about to go to the tree line and phase when I felt the oddest thing. Worry, horror and heart brokenness, But it wasn't coming from me or Seth… It was coming from Jacob. I could feel him pulling at the pack mind, sharing his emotions with us. It was like he was phased into wolf mode, but he was still a man. If I closed my eyes, I could see what he saw, smell what he smelled and feel what he felt.

The screams escalated in the house and I could see fountains of blood through Jacobs eyes and hear Bella's bones snapping like dry twigs. I felt Seth stop in horror at the gruesome scene. In the house I could here two distinct heart beats, one getting stronger and the other fading. I saw the blood sucker Edward bite down on something that looked like a ball of stone and pull a crying mass of blood out of it, then he placed it in my beloveds arms. I could feel nothing but over powering need to keep my Bella's heart pumping. To keep her alive.

Wait a minute! _MY_ beloveds? _MY _Bella? This was getting way to out of hand! I shook my head to try and clear it of the confusing emotions running through _all_ of our heads. I was not Jacob, I am Leah Clearwater and _I_ am _NOT _in _LOVE _with Bella Swan! There, now that that was straight, I could register a dramatic change in our.. HIS!… mood. It was a deep and desperate hopelessness. She was dead, my Bella was dead and it was all that monstrosities fault. We couldn't seem to move faster than a slow motion as the bloodsucker, what's his name? Tried in vain to save Bella. It was hopeless and the only thing left to do was to destroy the monster that killed her.

I could feel Seth rebel weakly at Jacobs line of thought, but even though it wasn't a command and Jacob was definitely not in wolf form, Seth couldn't help but to draw up battle plans to kill the bloodsuckers that he called friends. Only Edward would be spared, only he would live with the pain of loss almost as great as ours. The rest were meant for the fire.

We reached the bottom of the stairs and all our concentration was fixed on destroying the demon spawn from hell. The blond bimbo lifted the doomed child above her head and we all tensed for the strike. We relished the thought of killing the little murderer. I had never felt closer to Jacob then at that exact moment when our twin hatred almost came together for the final strike….

Then the most un-thinkable, the most un-_believable, _The most _vial_ thing that could have possibly happened, happened. HE _IMPRINTED_ ON THE LITTLE MONSTER!

It felt like the end of everything to me. I was absolutely alone in my pain and misery. I would never have anyone to share it with now that my only ally in grief had imprinted. Hot knives of jealousy and betrayal stabbed through my stomach. How could he!? As all the implications of our alpha male imprinting on a half leech slammed into me, I felt my knees buckle, my _human knees. I couldn't remember phasing. The link was broken and I was truly alone with my horror. The Cullen's were forever allies to the pack now, there would never be any retribution against them for how they split me and Sam apart. I ran naked and un-caring into the woods as fast as I could, trying to get away from everything. I had to find a way to leave both packs. I had to get away from LaPush. _


	2. Chapter 2

Leah's Story

Chapter Two

The memory of that day sent it's usual whiplash of first pain, then anger and then, finally, absolute numbness through my body as I once again forced myself to accept the grim fate handed me by the bloodsuckers. It all washed through me in a matter of minutes and I was somewhat disappointed when the numb feeling faded and left me only the bitterness to sit in my stomach like a rock. Life just sucked! And I was always left virtually alone to face it's terrors.

I was watching the strange trial of the bloodsuckers without interest, contemplating my pain and loneliness, when I suddenly imagined myself on a very lonely and long road. It was only a flash, but it felt very real to me. When I woke from my short and strange day dream, I slowly realized that I could not hear a single thought coming from any one of the other 16 wolfs in my pack. At first I was annoyed because I thought the rest of the pack was _so _intent on the vermin, that they literally had no other thoughts of any kind. When I realized that I couldn't sense there emotions either however, I became a little panicked that maybe my revelries had chased them further away and that they shut me out of there minds completely somehow. I had only been a wear wolf for a few months, but even _I_ knew that that wasn't possible at all, believe me, I've been desperately trying to do it since day one. So I was genuinely perplexed and amazed when I felt Seth's nose poke my side as he tried to get my attention.

Seth looked at me with deep concern in his eyes and looked like he really wanted to tell me something. I tried to listen to his thoughts, but I couldn't seem to hear him over the despair in my heart. It took me several minutes of listening, _really listening_, before I could start to hear his thoughts softly, like a whisper in the back of my mind. Once I concentrated on the soft quiet thoughts Seth was sending me, it was like a dam bursting in my head. A flood of noise and confusion slammed in my brain like a freight train and I was overwhelmed as all sixteen wolfs in the pack yelled my name at me like I was a deaf mute.

"Shut up and pay attention!" Sam's alpha voice cracked through everyone else's like a bolt of lightning through a tree trunk. "The head leech of the Volturi bloodsuckers is about to send all his vermin at us and _none _of you are paying the slightest bit attention! We can figure out how Leah was able to hide her thoughts from us _after_ we kill the enemy!" As everyone grumbled apologies and took up attack formations again, Sam's eye's bored into mine and I could feel his silent frustration with me. As if it were my fault! _I _certainly didn't know how I did it.

"Are you okay, sis? I thought you were brain dead there for a while." Seth's tone was mocking, but I could feel the true concern in his words. "I mean, what happened? One minute, you were driving us all crazy thinking about how much you hated Bella and how much you missed Sam and the usual sort of drivel, then we couldn't hear a single thought. It was like someone just shut your brain off like a switch."

'Believe me." I replied with as much sarcasm as I could muster. "If I knew how to keep nosey little brothers out of my mind, I would have done it a long time ago. Maybe, I was just thinking thoughts so intelligent that none of you Neanderthals could understand them. So your tiny little brains shut me out because you didn't think thoughts as smart as mine were worth hearing, did you think of that dumb dumb?" I was trying to make him feel better and throw him off the subject, but he refused to be averted.

"Your thoughts are _never_ worth hearing, it's always the same depressing crap over and over again. And besides, _NOBODY_ has _ever_ just disappeared from the pack mind no matter how intelligent or, in your case, insignificant the thought's are." I could feel his self congratulations at the jib. "I just want to know how you do it! Please?" He sounded so curious and sincere, it was hard for me to disappoint him when he acted this way. But the truth was, I had no idea either.

"Look, don't strain your brain trying to figure it out. I'll explain it to you when you're smart enough to understand it… Like that will ever happen." I put my best 'I'm-the-older-sister-and-your-the-dumb-little-brother-so-just-drop-it-and-leave-it-cause-I-said-so' tone into my voice. But, of course, he wasn't having any of it again.

"I bet you don't even know, is that why you won't tell me?" He sounded determined and I could tell that nothing but the absolute truth would shut him up.

"Look, why don't you just read my mind and figure it out for yourself?" That was weird, now that I thought of it, this whole conversation seemed pointless when he could have easily just read my thoughts and know _exactly _as much as I did about the subject. In fact, there should have been no way he could have _avoided_ reading my thoughts… _Everything_ is open to _everyone_ in a pack mind.

"I can't! Don't you think I've been trying?!" He sounded exasperated. "Every time I try to read that part of you, your mind and thoughts get all fuzzy. It's like trying to look though murky dirty glass. Did Bella teach you how to shield your mind or something?" He sounded sulky like he thought his friends were teaching me secrets and leaving him in the dark.

"Look, do you think that I would ask _Bella_ for _anything?!_ I'm the last person on this planet that Isabella Swan would ever teach _anything_ to. I wouldn't care if she wanted to show me how to make gold out of shoe leather! I would refuse to learn from her just on _principal,_ for what she's done to me! I don't know why you can't read my thoughts very well anymore, okay! OKAY?!" There, I let the cat out of the bag and had to admit my ignorance to get him to drop the subject, but it was immediately worth it when I felt his relief that he wasn't being left out of anything in his new circle of friends. "Now will you _please, PLEASE,_ just get back to what were all _supposed_ to be doing and pay attention to the coming fight?"

"Sure sis, whatever you say." he sounded like I had slapped him as he turned his now sagged, for a wolf anyway, shoulders away from me. "Just don't block me out again please, I was worried about you is all."

His tone pulled at my deeply hidden sisterly emotions and suddenly I was in a panic at the thought of losing him too. This up coming fight wouldn't just put my life if jeopardy, which was fine by me, it could get my brother killed! The thought of having one of my last loving relationships taken away by that selfish Bella and her bloodsucking family of freaks immediately put me back into my state of deep depression. The rock of bitterness, which had dissolved during my banter with Seth, settled back in my stomach now heavier than ever.

I couldn't help but to imagine myself even more alone and empty than I was already. Absolutely devoid of any meaningful relationships. I could see myself walking on that long long road, this time with people waving at me from either side. There was Sam, his pack and the rest of the LaPush citizens on one side and then there was Seth, Jacob and the leeches on the other. They were calling my name and speaking to me, but I couldn't hear a single word or understand a single gesture.

I don't know how long I was on the lonely road in my mind before I began to smell the most _delicious_ thing that I have ever smelled in my entire life, and it was coming from the end of the road. It smelled like every good scent that my nose had ever detected, it pulled at me like nothing I have ever felt before. The desperate need and drive to find the source of the amazing smell was intoxicating. The rock in my stomach now forgotten, I began to race down the road toward the scent. Every time my feet touched the ground during my mad rush to the source, it sounded like a strong heart beat. The rhythm lifted my spirits and made me forget all my pain and sadness, it drove me to run faster and faster!

I was running full sprint toward the source of smell, my spirits truly lifted for the first time sense Sam left me. Then Seth stepped off from the side of the road, right into my path. Feet spread wide, he slapped his still boyish hands down on my nose. The slap was hard enough to knock me to the ground. The world spun around me and the next thing I knew, I was back in the tree line staring into the accusing eyes of my little wolf brother. It was a moment before I realized that my head had gone absolutely quiet again and this time I think I was starting to understand why. I concentrated on my little brother, willing myself to become a part of his mind again. This time it worked much more quickly than it did only a few minutes ago.

"YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE DIDN'T YOU!" Seth sounded really hurt now. "I asked you not to block me out because I was worried about you and the first thing you do is knock me out of your head like I was some kind of trespasser! Well fine! Go ahead and hide everything! It's better than listening to you mope around…." I couldn't take him being mad at me, it hurt too much.

"Seth, please! I'm sorry I did that to you! I didn't mean to, I swear!" My nerves were on edge and I was cracking up. What was that strange road? Was it something to do with my being able to block out the pack? And What, WHAT _is _that amazing smell? I could still smell it faintly in the air, pulling me from the tree line towards the ranks of blood suckers. It took every once of will power I had to remain where I was, to not go bounding toward it like a toddler to it's mother. It was everything that was good in the world. "Seth, where is that smell coming from?"

Taken back by my sudden change in subject, Seth took a couple of big whiffs. "What smell? I don't smell anything out of the ordinary." He reported slightly confused. "just the usual vampire and wear wolf. Why?"

"You don't _smell _that?!" How could he not? It was the most amazing smell that he would ever get to smell and he was missing it. For some reason, it really irritated me. "Sniff harder!"

"Look! I'm telling you there isn't anything different! Your losing it! Your going loony! Maybe we should commit you when this thing is over with!" He was at his limit for patience with me. "look, just concentrate on the fight and we'll talk later, okay?"

"Fine!" I replied headedly. "Pretend you don't smell it!" I knew I could smell it and that was the important thing anyway.

As the minutes passed and the bloodsuckers went on and on, back and forth with words like a fourth grade shoving match, the smell kept getting stronger. Like it was coming closer. I was nowhere near the road in my head now, I had rapt attention for the field of potential battle, searching for the source of the amazing scent. All my sense's were strained to there limit, when suddenly I became aware of not just the heart beats from the pack and the half leech, but from another source coming from where the smell seemed to originate. It was the same beat from my road dream, strong and fast and it was just as intoxicating as the smell. My spirits soured as it got closer as well. It became the focus of every single piece of me. I felt like I had been listening and waiting for that sound all my life and it was finally within my grasp. The minutes dragged by and finally the heartbeat and the smell stopped within the tree line on just the other side of the clearing.

"Alice, why don't you come out and join us won't you?" The head bloodsucker asked in a tone that sounded strangely like he had won something. I was staring at the spot that the heart beat would emerge, all my senses straining to see who it belonged to. When the beautiful face of Nahuel came into view, two things happened. One: Everything in my life instantly revolved completely around him and Two: my heart finally gave way completely and I passed out.


End file.
